“Have a predictable bedtime routine,” they said. They all said. Every book, every parent and every sleep expert. So for weeks, I’d come downstairs after my little guy had finally fallen asleep to debrief my husband on the battle I’d just won… or maybe more accurately the white flag the baby had just raised. Together we had gotten in the habit of spending anywhere from 10 -30 minutes each night attempting to reconstruct the exact order of events that led to a sleeping baby. This intense analysis was key if we were going to repeat that the series of unfortunate events tomorrow- get from awake to asleep with even more ease- and finally dub it our bedtime routine. As the sleep deprivation increased, the litany of relevant events evolved from “I read a book and then put him in his crib” to “I used his hand to turn the pages- but not all the pages- just the last two” and “no, no- I didn’t make eye contact with him when I gave him the lovey. That’s why he went to sleep and didn’t cry!”
We maintained this intense level of deliberation night after night as we tried to uncover the magic combination of events that would unlock the elusive ‘sleeping through the night’ we had heard so much about from all of the well rested parents we knew. You know the type: theyremember what they need at the grocery store, cook a meal without forgetting most of the ingredients and let’s not forget the just out of reach- look human… right. Those human-looking parents. The litany of ridiculous behaviors we adults were engaging in only became apparent to me the third or fourth time I was going to be away at bedtime. My husband and I hashed out the specifics of the impending bedtime routine to death- like a couple of crack football coaches from 90s sitcoms… think chalkboards, clipboards.
Anyway…I’m no longer delirious. And, here’s what I’ve figured out. The bedtime routine is the stuff that makes sense on your way to bed. It’s not a made up of a bunch of tasks that need to be crammed in at the most challenging time of the day (exhausted baby & more exhausted parents). Now that bedtime happens successfully (no crying parents) these days, when I’m asked what the routine is, it’s easy for me to describe and no one needs to get out a pen… or chalkboard. Feed the baby, read around the room, read him the book that’s by his crib, give him a kiss and get out. I’m reasonably confident too, that if one of those activities is skipped, or another added- all will be fine!
I love getting to do bedtime. After I feed the baby, we spend about 10 more minutes together. I give him his binky and lovey and carry him while we read around the room- from the changing table all the way around to the crib. In our nursery, that means we spell out Kade (pointing to the letters because I’m a nerdy teacher), and sing the framed verse of “You Are My Sunshine” that is hanging over his changing table. Next, we read the All The Ways I Love You poem by the light switch, and point to and name all of the people in our family in the frame on the other side of the room. Next, I put the baby in his crib with his lovey and pacifier and draw his attention to the giraffes over his crib asking him, “How many giraffes are watching you sleep?” Then we count the 5 giraffes, I tell him the bedtime story and give him a kiss. He rolls over and pulls his lovey to his eyes and I stare for a little bit… because he’s so sweet and peaceful… and then I go do grownup things… and talk to my husband about things other than how exactly I pointed to the letters of Kade’s name. Because… we’re no longer delirious!!!
Another crazy craft project… nesting is a real thing. My OB should have had the power to give me Michael’s coupons.
